Chris Knox






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September 22, 2009

Death on the Grassy Knolls

Filed under: Uncategorized @ 3:28 pm

The moors rustled with the deep pulsing of the wind. The moon gave a surreal icey-blue glaze to the heather.  The lone Knox wandered the grassy knolls, nose twitching, for new prey. Shadows of the limping, leering, lunging  Knox swept over the heather in patches of dark. The slow ‘schllllffff-thunk, schllllfff-thunk’ of his gait would warn all but the most unsuspecting of creatures of his approach. The tiny paneer-mouse (recently imported on the whim of a drunken Botswanan on the firm, but misguided, belief that its fur, dried, crushed & strained into a tea, would cure his gout) however had not had its ears cleaned recently at the Hearing Association in Remuera, and therefore its hearing was not as acute as it could have been.

The Knox spied his prey, and with the four-prongs of his barely used (and therefore almost sterile) walking stick pinned the four legs of the paneer-mouse to the ground – thus ensuring a minimum of damage to its delicious non-vegetarian flesh. He threw himself on his victim & with his rather well kept teeth ripped the fur (which was in fact totally useless for anything at all) off the screaming animal & threw its tiny carcass, still writhing in agony, into the local microwave to curry for tea (with some left-over rice to provide carbs).

Replete, the Knox lay to briefly shuffle no more as slumber engulfed the weary denizen of the night – his nostrils still twitched with the thrill of the kill & his grey bristle was smeared with the paneer-mouse’s remnants, which hung in the moon-light as a terrible warning to other paneer-mice of the unpleasant fate that awaits those that choose to turn a deaf ear.



7 Comments »

  1. ainur1988  Ainur — September 22, 2009 @ 3:29 pm    

    Данная статья имеет четко выраженный информативный стиль, спасибо Вам!

  2. lindsayhewitt1  Linz. — September 22, 2009 @ 3:59 pm    

    Have it on some Vogels.

  3. blackplasticsound  Barry S. — September 24, 2009 @ 10:47 am    

    Well,in any form he chooses to appear in…..bless Mr. Knox ,…..and I hope he’s doing better.
    Love, Barry Saranchuk

  4. chris.mousdale  chris mousdale — September 25, 2009 @ 12:21 pm    

    I don’t know about bread, but you guys must be on some fine, fine jazz ciggies.

  5. sandra.x  sandra — September 27, 2009 @ 8:29 pm    

    Christo fer,
    I think you are writing your own blogs.
    Is this true?

  6. guy  guy — October 8, 2009 @ 3:32 pm    

    My mum was a paneer mouse, this was very upsetting to read.

  7. lindsayhewitt1  Linz. — October 22, 2009 @ 9:06 am    

    Hey fella, I’ve just got out of the Hospital where you were and I have to ask, you weren’t visiting somebody were you, and maybe tried to scab a free meal coz my first bite dropped me to 1 knee clutching my chest trying to scream while looking for anything that I could drink but was told by a staff member that I would get used to it even though her grin and 50 mil syringe of adreniline seemed to contradict her demeanour so I rolled under a nearby bed only to see a mouse similar to the one that you described eating and knowing that this was the only cure, wolfed it down and made a hasty retreat. I also asked staff about you and called them peasants when they recognised you only as the guy who does the song for Vogels, any mention of the enemy or even toy love was met with blank stares so I gave up, enjoyed getting out on monday and vowed never to eat Hospital food again. Well I must go I hope that everything goes well with you and the Stroke album so get well soon bro’ and I’ll be waiting to hear the album.

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